Remember the last time you went out for dinner and were shocked by the couple seated next to you in the restaurant? They appeared to be having a romantic dinner for two. He was well dressed and well spoken and appeared to be successful in life. She was… puffy faced with tangled hair, bad skin, poorly fitting clothes… huh? The question that immediately pops into everyone’s mind when they see this scenario is “what is a nice looking guy like him doing with a woman like her?” More likely than not, this man has fallen victim to a widespread disorder that occurs amongst women in committed relationships – it’s called the downfall of the desirable. The rather homely woman in the restaurant, and many other women just like her, “let themselves go” to the point that their partners have little desire to be with them at all. So how can you avoid getting trapped in a serious relationship with such a woman? There are several warning signs of her potential desirability downfall, and simple ways to remove yourself from getting stuck with her on her way down…
For most men, appearance is one of the most important characteristics when it comes to seeking and forming lasting relationships. Some women are naturally beautiful and have to do very little “primping” to look great all the time. However, the majority of women put a lot of effort into their presentation and so they should – with the right combination of hair, make up and clothing an average looking girl can be a “10” in most any man’s book. So who cares how much time they spend in front of the mirror as long as they look great when you see them? You do (…or at least your should)!
It is important to pay some attention and respect to a woman’s grooming habits before you jump into a relationship with her. For example – is she consistent in her appearance, or does she really do herself up for some occasions and let herself go for others? Sure, the no make-up or baseball cap thing is okay for the gym or football game, but does she think it’s cool to go out to dinner with you looking like that? Another red flag is her insecurity about her grooming or appearance. If she takes way to long to get ready, is overly sensitive to your telling her that takes way to long to get ready, or she is constantly asking your opinion of her hair, make up or clothing choices then chances are this woman’s appearance will go through some state of crisis down the road. You best not go along for the ride…
To best avoid getting stuck in a relationship with a pretty girl who used to be, you must understand what the cause of the downfall of desire is in most women. Women stop caring about their appearance when they think that men stop caring about their appearance. For some women, it is a simple equation of “caught a man” and “have no need to catch any others.” Of course, this simplistic approach ignores the fact that the one man they have “caught” is not going to be attracted for much longer once the sweats and ball caps come out! Other women stop caring for their appearance when they feel unhappy or insecure in their relationship. This is a problem usually caused by both partners however it is not something that should be occurring only a few months into a relationship. So if you notice that your interest is waning after a few weeks of intimacy with her, or you already notice signs of the downfall of her desirable attributes, proceed with the relationship with great caution.
The most glaring warning signs of the demise of her appearance should be obvious to you. They include always wearing sweats or bagging clothing, or wearing the same outfit over and over again. No make up or obvious skin care ritual is also a potential problem, as is tangled, overgrown, greasy or unkept hair. You know you have a more serious problem on your hands when she stops shaving, and what used to be smooth soft skin on her legs and under her arms (and more private parts) has become like the jungle of the Amazon. Good luck taming that wilderness!
While most men try to approach relationships with women in the hope of maintaining a certain modicum of respect and kindness, you can only do so much when it comes to a woman who completely lets her appearance go. You might be able to be Mr. Nice Guy for a while – give her some time to bounce back to her old attractive ways… however, if you don’t see any attempt at a change for the better after there has been a turn for the worse (does she even wear deodorant anymore…?), the nice guy routine is simply not worth it in the end. After all, if you respect yourself and her enough to maintain a healthy appearance, weight and grooming regiment then she should be able to do the same.
When it comes to communicating with a woman about her appearance or the downfall of desirability, be warned you are entering very dangerous territory. Almost anything you say will be interpreted as criticism or judgment – so be very careful!! The best way to approach the issue is to tell her how much you would love to see her in something sexy, or that she reminds you of some movie star when she does her hair up really nice… be positive and say as little as you can while still getting your message across. You might also keep pictures on hand of her or the two of you together in which she looks as desirable as when you first met. The reminder of how good she used to look might just be inspiration she needs to pull up her socks (hopefully, once she has shaved her legs) and again become the object you so desire. If you can help it, don’t ever let her let herself go. She will thank you for it down the road, and your relationship will have a much better chance of success!