Many people waste years of their lives dating someone they think they are in love with, only to have the relationship end in a mess. Why waste years in a loveless relationship? If you are looking for someone to fall in love with, then you need to decide early on if the person you are with will become the love of your life, before you fall into routine, habit, and a serious “like” which will make breaking up later on that much harder.
Unfortunately, there aren’t step-by-step instructions that will clearly indicate whether the woman you are dating is the right one for you. But, there are general guidelines you can consider when figuring out whether your relationship is going places or whether it is stagnating. If you are looking for tips and clues on how to tell if the woman you are with is the right one, then keep reading!
Is She Right for You?
There are many ways you can tell if a woman is right or wrong for you. She may be beautiful, funny, interesting and smart, but she may still not be the right one for you. And if you are looking to be in a serious long-term relationship, then you don’t want to get stuck in another dead-end relationship that leaves you and your heart broken and suffering.
Here are some things to consider when you are re-evaluating your relationship with your girlfriend. They may help you determine whether she’s the one for you:
- What stage of life are you each at? Are you both looking to settle down, or is one of you still “playing the field?”
- Are you equals in the relationship? Does she treat you like a child? Do you coddle her or do you see her as your equal and a potential life partner?
- Are you compatible sexually? While the passion may subside as the relationship progresses, sexual compatibility is still an important feature in any healthy relationship.
- Are you ideologically compatible? Do you generally agree about the same principles by which you live your life, or does every conversation end in an argument about who is right and who is wrong?
Of course there are many other things to consider when you are dating someone, but these general questions will assist you in asking the right questions about your relationship.
What are You Looking for?
What you are looking for in a woman may be unrealistic, but in order to determine that, you need to ask yourself some questions. So, before you can determine what kind of woman is right for you, you should figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. For example, if you want to settle down, then you probably won’t find long-lasting love with a girl who wants to party with her friends at the bar each weekend. Like women, men sometimes believe that they can change someone they are dating so that they become the person they desire. But this won’t work because you can’t change people that easily. Especially if they don’t want to change.
In order for any relationship to be successful, each partner must want the same things. This doesn’t mean that you both have to like the same things and be interested in similar activities, but it does mean that you are both working toward the same goal. If you are dating someone and you only want a few months of summer romance, but she has started planning the wedding already, then that’s probably an indication that you’re not going in the same direction.
Passion Versus Love
At the beginning of any romantic relationship, both partners feel like they are overwhelmingly in love and that this love that makes your heart race when you think about them will last forever. But this first stage of love gradually changes, and depending on whether you two are right for each other, it may turn into a lasting love or it may dissolve completely when the passion is gone.
It is important to understand that loving someone and being in a relationship with them doesn’t mean that you have to feel like you are in love with them all the time. Your stomach won’t always have butterflies each time you see her enter the room, and you may not experience the same type of passionate love after 2 years together. But, this doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. In fact, when your relationship matures from the passionate love stage to the long-lasting love stage, you will probably feel a greater sense of love for each other than you did in the first few months.
Love Versus Lust
Lust is short lived—it is immediate, and spontaneous and overpowering. It can leave you gasping for breath and can make you think that you’ve found the love you’ve been looking for. However, lust is deceptive because it is based entirely on sexual desire. You may lust after a friend’s girlfriend, but acting on that lust would be a bad idea. If you are dating a woman and your core interest in each other is purely based on lust, then your relationship will be brief because lust dissipates quickly. Love, on the other hand, is something that grows and can become the foundation of your relationship. That means that when you aren’t jumping each other’s bones every time you see each other, you still feel love for each other and it keeps you together.
Staying Together or Breaking Up?
In many cases, when couples start to ask whether their relationship is progressing, and when you start to wonder whether she is right for you, things may be on the rocks. Then asking questions about your compatibility may only prove that there are big fissures in your relationship. Other times, it will show you that things are well worth working on, so it’s up to you to figure out the best answer to your relationship questions.