There is something your woman wants that you might not know about. By the way, she wants its bad. She wants it real bad. She wants it sooooo bad…
Can you take the hint?
It’s not chocolate and roses, it’s not a fur coat, and make no mistake – it’s no 5 carat ring. Your woman wants you to talk to her, and she is interested in more than just fluffy talk about feelings and romance. The fact is that women enjoy dirty talk more than men, and more than most men know. However, this form of communication is not to be entered into lightly – there is an art to dirty talk, and serious boundaries that must be respected. So before you start spewing sex-crazed obscenities, it’s time to ‘take stock’ of the sexy situation.
Dirty talk goes over best when it is spontaneous. At the same time, passionate communication with your partner must also involve personal reflection and preparation. The following advice on dirty talk will help you to better understand your boundaries (if they exist!) as well as hers.
When it comes to the next steamy communication session, this knowledge could mean the difference between the raunchiest night of your dreams and your worst nightmare – a woman who calls off sex (of course, just when you are getting close…) to have a good long cry. Nothing beats the mid-sex cry, literally. Once it begins the best you can do is offer is a cup of tea and hold out for an early morning quickie.
Best pay attention now…
First of all, it is important that you proceed with all dirty talk at your own risk. Women tend to be more self-conscious than men. Your bad timing, poor choice of words, or a poorly timed combination of both could be misinterpreted and ruin an entire evening. The best way to avoid this disaster is to test the waters and know your woman’s limits. This is, perhaps, the most difficult and the most important stage in preparation for dirty talk.
In order to gauge her comfort level and potential for naughtiness, ask yourself the following questions: Does she seem comfortable with her own sexuality and with yours? Does she often initiate sexual encounters, or try different tricks and positions? Would she curse at spilled red wine with a whole-hearted “fuck” – or would she grunt, make a funny face, and blurt out a frustrated “fudge”? Does she wince at the sight of your porno videos or magazines – or does she flip through them, entertained by the sight of throbbing members and fake mammories? Take small hints from what she says and what she does when it comes to sex and verbal communication. It will make all the difference as to how your dirty words are received.
Once you have some idea as to what she might like to hear, it’s time to test your skills at dirty talk. Throw out some sexy ideas during a late night phone call. Whisper some not-so-sweet nothings in her ear at a public function. Better yet, throw in your least offensive dirty-talking porn video and see if she wants to enjoy it together. These small tests will pay off huge in the end – especially if she knows you are teasing her and eagerly comes back for more.
Okay, so you’ve been warned about the potential fallout from dirty talk gone wrong, you have gotten to know more about your woman’s sexuality and you think she is eager, and you have tested the waters with great success. Before you jump head first into your vault of dirty nouns and sexually charged adjectives, consider the following: balance. When you start talking dirty to your woman, especially in the beginning, you need to balance what you want to say with what she wants to hear.
Basically, think before you speak. Even though you might be dying to call her a “nasty bitch” and a “dirty whore” as you spank her bottom, this is not the safest way to initiate dirty talk. Start by appealing to her. In your sexiest voice, tell her what you like about her body. Tell her she makes you hot. Take advantage of the moment to say what you didn’t say when the lights were on. This is your opportunity to see how she responds to your voice in the bedroom – and if she wants the talk to get dirtier down the road.
Having proceeded safely through a balanced first approach at dirty talk, it’s time for the real delivery. Choose your night wisely and if the situation allows, consider introducing the complimentary effects of some bubbly and candlelight.
Now it’s time to let loose…
Tell her what you want to do to her. If you are already doing it – then tell her what you are doing to her and what you would like to do next. If she responds with her own equally dirty descriptions, then it’s safe to say that the door is wide open for all the dirty talk you’ve been holding back. Talk about your cock – talk about her pussy. Talk about how good it all feels.
Describe your craziest sexual fantasy to her, but be warned that she may top yours ten fold – the mind of a woman can be a very imaginative place. It is important to find your sexiest voice in order to best communicate these dirty thoughts. However, try not to be sappy or cheesy. Also, beware of calling her any of the following (unless, of course, she is very dirty and you have attained prior consent): whore, slut, bitch, hoe-bag, cunt, bitch-face, bi-atch, or the name of another woman.
If you have closely followed all of this advice, dirty talk is going to work out in your favour – immeasurably. Just remember that dirty talk is all about how you say it, what you say, and who you are saying it to. Do some ground work and preparation, but don’t try to rehearse – you want your words to be as spontaneous as the sex itself. Chances are, you’ll be dirty talking your way into some of the best nights of sex in your life…