Just like in your job resume, your dating resume should highlight the things that will improve your chances of being successful. With a career resume, your goal is to get the job you want; with your dating resume, you want to be able to get the girl you want. Here are a few tips on how to compile your dating resume, what you should highlight and how this can help you improve your love life.
Past experiences you will want to talk about
If you were in a job interview, you would want to highlight past experiences that are relevant to the position you are interviewing for. Consider using the same technique for your dating resume, but keep in mind that not every past experience you’ve had will be something that you should reveal on a first date (or any date, for that matter).
Here are a few examples of past experiences that you should consider highlighting:
Travel — Talk about where you’ve traveled or where you would like to travel is a good conversation topic for any first date. Have you backpacked through Europe? Tell her about funny and/or strange experiences you had while you were trekking across the continent. Traveling experiences show a lot about you, including the fact that you are interested in other cultures and countries, and that you aren’t simply a recluse.
Keep in mind that you should ask her about her own experiences too because no one wants to be on a date with a conversation hog. Perhaps the two of you have been to some of the same countries on your travels—share your memories and experiences—but leave out the part of the story where you found 3 drunken Swedish girls in your hostel bed. And if you haven’t had much time to travel, you should talk about places you would like to travel, including which areas of the world most intrigue you.
Work — Because talking about work can bore even your mother to death, you have to tread carefully when discussing past work experiences. Don’t think about this dating resume topic in the traditional sense—for example, it’s probably not wise to regale her with stories of how you knew at the age of 5 that you always wanted to become an accountant. That’s boring.
Instead, highlight unique work experiences that you’ve had. They may illustrate your sense of humor, your love for spontaneity, or your story-telling abilities. Did you run away with the carnival when you were in high school? What was your worst job ever? Tell her about it.
Again, don’t get carried away with telling stories, and make sure she’s enjoying your stories before you continue talking. Give her the opportunity to ask questions or share her own stories too. And avoid putting her on the spot by saying, “So, do you have any funny or interesting work stories?” If she’s got a story to share, she will talk about it, but putting her on the spot to out-do you with a story that is funnier or more interesting than yours may backfire.
Extracurricular activities — This is another excellent lifestyle category to highlight because it illustrates your interests and your hobbies, and shows that you aren’t just a video game zombie living in your parents’ basement.
Do you have a distinctive hobby? Tell her about it. Are you an avid sports player? Ask her if she likes to play sports, but don’t start the conversation with “You’d be perfect if you liked hockey. Do you?” That’s a bad way to ask about what she’s interested in because you’ve made it clear what kind of interests and hobbies you want her to be interested in.
And just like you would in an interview, draw attention to any volunteer activities you may be involved with as well. But, don’t come across as self-righteous by awkwardly listing all of your volunteering and philanthropy. Relate your extracurricular activities to the conversation you are having through a natural segue.
And a few things you will want to avoid mentioning…
On your job resume, there are certain characteristics and experiences that you want to avoid mentioning at all costs. For example, did you get fired from your first job because you were always late for work? You wouldn’t want to mention this in an interview because any potential employer is going to assume you will always be late for work and aren’t worth hiring.
Same goes for your dating resume. Did your first girlfriend break up with you because you cheated on her and gave her chlamydia? Maybe you should avoid mentioning this. It doesn’t matter if you’ve “changed” (and hopefully you have!). Just the mention of having cheated on an ex-girlfriend will land you in the doghouse on the first date and will most likely put an end to any thoughts of any additional dates.
While we’re on the topic of ex-girlfriends, it’s probably a good idea to avoid talking about them in general. Your date won’t want to hear you complain about your ex-girlfriends, or worse yet, say how great it is that you continue to be very good friends with them.
What else? Are you harboring a nerdy and embarrassing past? Perhaps you were the class nerd in high school but managed to blossom into a well-adjusted, good-looking Alpha male? Well, just go with what she sees now. Don’t feel the need to discuss your reign as president of the knitting club or indicate that your musical hero is William Shatner.
And last, but not least, try not to talk about sex. Because there are so many ways to go wrong with talking about sex on a first date, it’s best that you try to avoid the topic. Here are a few samples of sex-related conversation stoppers that you should avoid at all costs:
– “One of the things that I struggle with the most is saving myself for marriage. But, I’ve promised God that I will wait until I meet the perfect woman! Until then, I just take care of business myself.”
– “So, have you ever had a golden shower? I heard that some women really want to be peed on but are too afraid to ask.”
– “How many sexual partners have you had? I’ve heard that women lie about how many partners they’ve had, so I’ll just add 4 to whatever number you tell me.”
Now that you’ve got an idea of the types of things you should include on your dating resume and the things that shouldn’t make the list, you can compile your own resume for future dates. Include things that highlight the best you have to offer, and not just a sampling of every crazy thing you’ve ever done.
And remember: don’t carry about resume with you on your dates! It’s just something to have in mind as topics of conversation for your dates. She won’t be impressed by a cover letter or references either!